Real soldiers don't collect stamps, they collect Enemy dog tags.
Real soldiers don't commit atrocities, they take necessary punitive action.
Real soldiers don't surrender, they get killed -in action.
Real soldiers don't play video games, they play monopoly with the third world.
Real soldiers don’t wait for elections, they hold a coup.
Real soldiers don't stop tanks with SRAAW's, they fix bayonets.
Real soldiers don't worry about immigration formalities, if the coup fails.
Real soldiers don't kill women and children, until they've killed all the men and livestock.
Real soldiers get late night telephone calls from right wing death squads seeking advice.
Real soldiers don’t use tear gas, they use white phosphorus.
Real soldiers use SMG's in an anti-aircraft role.
Real soldier’s know that happiness is a confirmed kill.
Real soldiers are interviewed by ASIO on return from an overseas trip.
Real soldiers call the RSM by his first name, SIR.
Real soldiers have Rhodesian passports, four years after Rhodesia became Zimbabwe.
Real soldiers join the Army Reserve in Israel.
Real soldiers would never kill a missionary, unless he lied.
Real soldiers think that napalm is a contraceptive.
Real soldiers get mail from El Salvadore, in Government envelopes.
Real soldiers have holiday snaps of themselves and Fidel Castro.
Real soldiers aren’t racially prejudiced, they hate all wogs, slopes and coons equally.
Real soldiers don't leave a battle, until they are waist deep in the South Atlantic with an empty mag.
Real soldiers sing 'You light up my life' while walking through a village with a flamethrower.
Real soldiers don't hi-jack aircraft, they rearrange the timetable to something more convenient.
Real soldiers hire out to the CIA, for jobs to dangerous for the SAS.
Real soldiers throw three grenades at a time and watch them go off.
Real soldiers don't gamble, they play Russian Roulette with an AK47 and a full mag.
Real soldiers don't have to be told, they've already done it.
Real soldiers don't die for their country, they make the other bastards -die for theirs.
Real soldiers give the enemy the most opportunity
to die for his country.